We’ve just spent a couple of nights in Siem Reap – a bustling colonial town in north west Cambodia.  It’s a charming, welcome change from the chaos of Phnom Penh.  It’s still rather hot here but do not fret dear reader, the 30 pence pints of Angkor Beer are proving just the tonic.  However, as Jeannie keeps reminding me we’re not in Siem Reap for the cheap beer and scrumptious food (nor the ‘happy’ massages).  We’re here to visit the temples of Angkor – a spectacular legacy of the once formidable Khmer empire.

We formed a plan of attack.  Get up at the crack of dawn, hire a couple of bikes and cycle to the temples to watch the sun rise over Angkor Wat.  Perfect.  My alarm bleeped at 5am, we opened the curtains.  The sun had beat us to it and was already beaming over Siem Reap.  Bugger.  We tottered into town where at 5.15 the harassment from Tuk Tuk drivers was already becoming annoying, doubled by the fact that I was grumpy for a) getting up at 5am and b) missing the one thing that we got up early for.  Nonetheless we found some bikes and headed north to the temples.

First stop, iconic Angkor Wat.  It’s huge.  It’s allegedly the biggest religious building in the world, however been the first-class skeptics that we are, we spent the day debating whether St. Pauls is bigger.  Answers on a postcard please.  What’s perhaps more telling is that this impressively intricate and ornate monument was built in the 12th century whilst us English peasants were busy eating mud and burning the village witch.  We walked the (huge) grounds, took in the impressive bas-reliefs and wondered up to the top of the towers.  All before our breakfast of noodle soup (which unlike Phnom Penh noodle soup, did not contain pig intestines).

We tottered on to Ta Prohm, an enchanting temple that’s succumbing to the jungle.  Trees are growing over under and on top of these ruins – the setting wouldn’t look out of place on the set of Labyrinth or Indiana Jones.  Apparently that most famous of Derby exports – Tomb Raider – was filmed here.  Another notable temple was Bayon which is in the center of the old city of Angkor Thom.  This temple is famous for it’s 216 scary faces carved into the walls and towers.  Even more scary was the 216 hysterical, screeching Japanese tourists who were visiting that day.  Finally, this one made me chuckle readers, is the Baphuon temple.  For some unbeknown reason The French dismantled this huge temple before the war but the drawings were subsequently lost.  The pieces are now spread across acres of land and the French are busy trying to put it back together again.  Cue ‘allo ‘allo style skit: “Hawhehaw Rene, I tink we ave found le missing winkle-tinkle of Udayadityavarman, let us drink cognac and eat sausage to celebrate this magnifique occasion.”  Except they weren’t there when we visited.  They must be on strike again.

It turned out to be a marathon day of sight seeing.  Not least due to the overwhelming temples and vastness of the site, but also due to the constant screeching from hawkers.  “Hey mista!  Wanna buy a tee shirt?  You buy it from me?  Promise?”.  Piss off or I’ll run you over with my bicycle.  Twelve hours and 35km later we returned to Siem Reap for the best 30 pence beer I’ve ever drunk.

 

PS – we’ve just watched CNN news over breakfast.  The Derby clan will be delighted to know that Ashbourne has made its international news debut.  Between reports from the Iranian elections and French plane crash investigations we’ve just seen coverage of Ashbourne’s toe wrestling final.  I kid you not.